I have the strangest problems. I've never struggled with drugs, alcohol, eating, etc. But you know what I can't get out of my head? Grades. Seriously, I have these absurd standards that probably won't even end up helping me. It's 4.0 or bust, and I mean that. Some people compete in Athletics, others compete in Music.. I get wrapped up in the ego trip i get from getting better grades than other people and working harder than them. I know. That makes me an asshole. Someone once told me that it's only because I'm trying to prove to people that I'm ok because I think that I'm not. I suppose he was probably right, but it doesn't exactly solve this. Maybe it's because I have no real concept of what grades it takes to get into law school, or what sort of work is required to get these grades at uconn. I don't really know. All I know is that I can't wait (academically at least) for 1st semester to end, so I have a better idea of how I function as a student. Because right now I'm still doing that whole library-from-7pm-to-2am thing.
I know, I've been writing about really boring shit lately. I suppose thats because life has literally consisted of marching band and schoolwork since I moved in. Next weekend (the one with the 18th I mean) is completely free though!
- Connor
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